When baby plays favorites

 

All is fair in love and parenthood, so check your ego at the door when baby reaches for your spouse

Do you have a friend that you prefer to go shopping with and a different friend that you prefer to discuss the latest movies with? Basically, doesn’t one friend fulfill a certain need at a certain time more than the other?

Try to keep that in mind when your child wants your partner and not you. No doubt it will hurt your feelings when your child has a strong preference for the other parent than for you. As hard as it may be, don’t curl up and die, and don’t be heartbroken. This is not a personal rejection—your child doesn’t doesn’t love your partner more than you.

Don’t take it as a parental failure when your little one wants your partner to read the bedtime story and not you. Don’t torture yourself with, What is it about the way he reads compared to me? Why aren’t I good enough?Don’t be overwhelmed with pain and jealousy, just know “this too shall pass”

Don’t dwell on it—what is happening can be pretty common. Not all, but some babies prefer one parent to the other at different stages of development. Your child’s choice will more than likely be you at some point in time.

As upsetting as it is that you’re not the preferred flavor of the moment, make sure not to overreact, and don’t let it cause problems between you and your partner. Let your child and your partner enjoy the connection they’re making.

Vicariously enjoy the bond that the two of them are sharing. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you are in this together as parents and you’re both important to your child.

And don’t let this bump in the road affect your confidence as a parent. Children are great barometers for stress; if your child senses that you are anxious all the time, then naturally she will approach your partner first to fulfill her needs.

Granted, it is frustrating when junior constantly seeks out your partner but don’t give up and don’t withdraw. It will pass. It isn’t a permanent situation. Stay involved and try to remain engaged. Just because the other person is reading the story doesn’t mean you can’t participate, too.

As envious as you might be toward the “favored one,” you should be enrolling their help. Give them a gentle nudge if they need it to assist you. He or she should not be gloating and could help the situation immensely by showing you even more affection when your child rejects you. You can both explain “It hurts mommy’s feelings when you do that.”

Memory check: Wasn’t there a time not long ago that baby only wanted you? If not, your patience will ensure that time will come. Look at this as something good and enjoy the fact that your child is discovering his world and the people in it. While your child is more intrigued by the other parent, enjoy the respite, enjoy some down time, because as we know babies have short memories—some fads are here today, gone tomorrow.

2018-12-05T00:53:46+00:00